Monday, 5 October 2015


So today's blog takes a turn....I had AMAZING things going round in my head throughout the night - but alas, come morning they have all flown the coup!

I think of LOVE today for many reasons:  My time here is almost up ... I've already had to say good byE to 2 of my favourite ladies  who won't be back on shift until I've left.  I can honestly say I HAVE LOVED being this time ... with these Doctors, Nurses, Patients and Carers.  I feel so blessed that my time was NOW.  I have felt safe, supported, cared for, NEVER lonely, always informed, always included. 

I LOVE that I can say I felt comfortable that God was with me ...and Trust me He HAS been with me.  I knew / know he's go this.

I can even honestly say that I barely felt homesick.   Oh Sure I missed Piper, Andy and the fam like crazy but ....I knew this was where I needed to be and I felt great for it.  I'm even glad I DID chose to travel alone. It was my time for me.  Trust me - I have cried but honestly...barely.  Big girl pants rock.

So -  I have LOVED my time here and whatever happens symptom wise, I have no regrets of my decision to come and have HSCT with the phenomenal Dr Fedordenko and this amazing team. I NO LONGER HAVE MS... what that means for all established symptoms we shall just have to wait and see...but I'm (forever) optimistic!.

My gratitude is off the charts.  Sure - to Team Russia, but also to my family, my friends, my community, prayer groups, strangers(!) - all of how helped this to become a reality. 

A dear girlfriend said I need to get "public" to get myself out there ... and that is so out of my comfort zone...but I did it and I could never have fathomed the LOVE I received from my community.  I met new and amazing people throughout the year (and without question here in Russia too) and that never would have happened had I tried to do softly; softly.

All For little ol' me !  Hands down the most humbling year of my life.

My LOVE for my family continues to bubble over.  Piper is my world and my love for her knows no bounds.  She is my ....EVERYTHING and I hope she is truly proud of me and this journey...I want to help her grow into the beautiful, strong, funny, caring, empathetic, determined, amazing, resilient, kind, bright, compassionate, fair kid I know she can be.  I do hope she looks back with pride because I did so much of this for be a better mum as she truly, truly deserves. 

Andy stuck around long after this MS diagnosis and never gave it too much air time.  He has been so patient and accepting - considering the active person he fell in love with left the building a long time ago.  I cannot understand his continued LOVE for me but I am eternally grateful.

My Mum is my Rock and my Dad is my Inspriation and how that works together so well, I'll never know but their support (amongst their fear) and their LOVE brings tears to my eyes. Mum does the worry; Dad remains Optimistic.  It WORKS!  NO parent wants to watch their kids suffer like I had.  I cannot imagine their angst over the past 13 years.  I wish it on no one and yet  they were so strong. 

My darling sisters, friends, work mates and everyone.... your compassion and LOVE and understanding and acceptance is mind-boggling. Again - it can't be pretty to watch....yet you all let me hang around and never make me feel a hindrance....ever.  Even when I  really know I am.

To my merry little committee and Mt Gambier Community Events - to other organisations who did things off their own backs (Girl Guildes, Lions, Running Clubs, Exchange Printers, EFM, Footy Clubs, Soccer Clubs, Lorraine Lea, School cupcakes and dances and tins around town), to the bigger events such as the RSL Happy Hour, the Awesome Dragon Boat Regatta on the Goldie, the AMAZING ++++ dinner auction.  Words fail me with the thanks, gratitude, love, overwhelming support I feel - both with attending such events and providing goods and services.  Seriously seriously floored.

To messages from sporting celebrities - Socceroo Tim Cahill, Anna Meares, Jessica Trengrove and Neal Danaher!  WHAT ON EARTH?!

I've said it before and I will continue to say it - I am so BLESSED.


Quick update:
Today I had Vlad removed from my neck so I am just back to just ME.  ME minus MS.

I am alarmed at how weak  I am walking but still, Dr F is not concerned.  REST: REST:  REST.  It's a touch frustrating after seeing others leave with a spring in their step, but I know my body just did 10 rounds with Mke Tyson so I'm willing to just watch and see....and this is when the roller coaster beings so I'm aware of that too.

Anyway - to sign off in LOVE. 
2 wonderful things today.
1) One of my most darling, special, awe-inspring, radiant, adored friends got married today on the Gold Coast.. She (as to be expected) looked divine and a great portion of my day was spent stalking for photo's of her!   There's will be a love that stands the ages.
2)  It was announced today that Dr Fedorendo is going to become a Daddy to a baby boy sometimes next year!  Such wonderful news and what a lucky little man!

So LOVE is all REALLY all around.

Such joy.

Oh crap... I've eaten an entire bag of Strawberries and Creams doing this.  That's not good.

Tomorrow - pack up.  Visit chicks on level 2.
Wednesday - exit meeting.  Tears.  Fly out!

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